


Book of Love

by nilielh



Series: Book of Tears [4]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Book of tears verse, Breaking Up & Making Up, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Ohmiya - Freeform, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:54:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26699374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nilielh/pseuds/nilielh
Summary: Somehow, he can’t help but wonder if this is fate coming in full circle, remembering Ohno’s confession about reading his journals while he was away, and smiling at the memory despite himself.
Relationships: Ninomiya Kazunari/Ohno Satoshi
Series: Book of Tears [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/71539
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DaisukiDesu3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisukiDesu3/gifts).



> Written for Daisukidesu3's birthday back in 2019. Be adding more to this soon. Very soon.

  
“Oh, you’re here already,” says Ohno’s mother when she opens the door and finds Nino standing awkwardly there. “Well, come on in so you could check the stuff I told you about. They’re upstairs.”  
  
He nods in answer and follows her retreating back, swallowing the sickening feeling in his gut. By now, he knows it’s more of an automatic reflex and a sort of unconscious reaction than anything – the breakup didn’t only affect him and Ohno after all, and the one person he’d unconsciously brought pain just as much as he did Ohno during the time they were being stubborn and stupid is obviously making a conscious effort to forgive him (and maybe like him again, if it even comes to that) – and he guesses it’ll take a while for him to feel comfortable around her presence again, but he’s willing to do his part.  
  
It hasn’t been easy; Ohno’s trying his best too, of course, and it’s not just about relearning what they missed during the past year they were apart. There are so many things to consider, schedules to be rearranged, people to be informed, most especially their respective families. He doesn’t say it but he’s humbled at the way Ohno’s doing his best to try and slowly bridge the gap their breakup’s brought to their respective lives, has been making a serious effort into putting Nino back into that spot in his family Nino’s unwillingly vacated when they broke up.  
  
He’s told Ohno it’s not going to be easy, especially with how painful it has been for everyone involved, but Ohno simply shook his head at him, pulled him close and told him that it’s okay. This time, he’s willing to compromise everything with Nino, no matter how hard it would be. That doing so would be nothing in compared to the pain they’d both have to endure, apart.  
  
He honestly had to kiss Ohno for that, of course.  
  
Ohno’s mother is waiting for him at the top of the stairs when he finally catches up to her, huffing a little for his efforts. Her smirk is charming as it is very much familiar, and he finds himself chuckling at her in return.  
  
“So, first things first,” she says, pointedly staring him down with those knowing eyes of hers. “Satoshi doesn’t know you’re here, yes?”  
  
He tilts his head in answer. “Well, you told me I shouldn't tell him I was coming over? And that it’s important I come here as soon as possible?” he says, phrasing his words as questions simply because he’s not really sure what he’s being asked.  
  
“So that’s a no?”  
  
Nino purses his lips in suspicion. “ _Yes.”_  
  
“Good.” She says, grinning. “But you’re early.” She comments.  
  
To be fair, he was really surprised when Ohno’s mother had contacted him the night before, only to ask him if could come visit as soon as he was free to do so. Personally, he wouldn’t dare come here all by himself – he would have dragged Ohno along despite Ohno’s mother’s insistence he came alone - and the very rare occasion that he might do just that, he’s certain it would be for a completely different reason than why Ohno’s mother had actually called him over.  
  
“It’s my day off. I came here as soon as I’m done with stuff at home. I figured I could tell Oh-chan later, but you specifically instructed me to come here by myself, so, here I am,” he says. “Is there – something wrong?”  
  
“No, of course not! And don’t look so worried, I promise it’s not something to frown about. Cheer up! Do you want anything to drink first?”  
  
“No, I’m good,” he tells her, albeit warily. “So, what is this about? You’re not – You didn’t call me here on my day-off just to offer me coffee or something, right?”  
  
“No, but maybe something better?”  
  
Her smile looks menacing enough to make things in Nino’s stomach tight. Mentally regretting his decision for giving in to her request, he darts his gaze elsewhere and lets out a laugh that he wishes sounded confident than what he actually feels.  
  
“That doesn’t sound so convincing,” he notes. “But, fine, okay, what is it? It’s – not about how stupid I was for breaking up with Oh-chan last year, is it?”  
  
“Oh, get over yourself already,” she tells him, “But it’s good that you still came here despite thinking that. Good going! I knew I could count on you to be brave.” she tells him, still smirking at him like she knows something potentially dangerous enough to destroy the world. Or in this case, Nino’s world, to be honest.  
  
“Well, go on in, then. The boxes under the bed bear your name, so that’s hard to miss. Also, you have the option to take them home or leave them where they are. I’m not sure why Satoshi left them here, don’t ask me, I don’t know what they are, I didn’t check them, but I guess if he put your name on the boxes, that means they’re yours.” She explains in one go, jabbing a finger towards the door to Ohno’s old room without taking her gaze off him.  
  
He blinks back at her in confusion. “You want me to check Oh-chan’s stuff he left in his old room, in your house, while he’s not here? Are you being serious right now?” he asks, only vaguely worried about getting slapped in return. To be fair, he thinks it’s just normal to wonder, especially in his case, knowing he’s the last person Ohno’s mother would call upon to sneak up on her son’s stuff while he’s not around, but he guesses there’s really no way he could tell how her mind works really.  
  
She’s just as difficult to figure as her son is, and despite knowing Ohno better than most people Ohno is close to, there are certain sides of him that still confuse the shit out of him even after so long.  
  
His mother’s decidedly confusing request takes the cake, however.  
  
“Well, I could have asked Satoshi too, but I figured those boxes’ contents would mean so much more to you than they ever would to him, since, well, he obviously made them for you.”  
  
“ _Made_?” he clarifies.  
  
She makes a shrugging gesture and even found the gall to act innocent if not sheepish as she pulls a face at him.  
  
“They’re artworks, I think.”  
  
“You think?”  
  
“Yeah. Sketchbooks.”  
  
He frowns. “I thought you didn’t check –“  
  
“I took a little peek, so what of it? I had to know what they are, okay? But I swear I didn’t open them. To check. I mean, I swear I didn’t. God knows what would have happened if I did. I’d rather die not knowing, ever. For my sanity’s sake. I mean, I love my son, and _you_ like my own, but I’d rather not get involved in whatever embarrassing stuff you guys are into in private. Spare me the details, please.”  
  
“Right.” He mumbles, wondering if he should be embarrassed or grateful or both.  
  
She gives him shove into the direction of Ohno’s room and tells him to take his time. After all, it’s unlikely that he’ll be interrupted; Ohno isn’t coming to his rescue, and it’s obvious that the older woman has no intention of letting him leave until she knows he’s fulfilled whatever it is he came here for.  
  
He sighs and walks the short way towards the door, vaguely noticing her going the opposite way as he closes the door behind him.  
  
+  
  
Just as she mentioned, there are boxes under Ohno’s old bed that bear Nino’s name. Or at least that’s what they seem like even though they aren’t written as such. Two boxes have the numbers ‘two’ scrawled on them – there are three boxes in total – and one simply has the letter N written on top of it.  
  
He pulls them out and drags them closer as he sits himself on the floor, letting his eyes wander on the boxes first before taking his gaze elsewhere, to the room at large to check it out, if only to distract himself for a moment before he decides what to do.  
  
To be honest, he rarely got invited here, in Ohno’s family’s home even back then when they weren’t together yet, so he’s generally has no idea what Ohno’s old room looks like, at least until a couple of months ago, just a few weeks after he and Ohno have gotten back together and he came over, unannounced, to talk to Ohno’s mom. Ohno had followed after him that day, had joked about coming over to help his mother bury Nino’s body if need be since it was highly possible Nino’s been murdered and Ohno’s mother calmly agreeing to it as if she was actually considering it. It was also then that he got invited up here, to Ohno’s room, where Ohno decided to make it memorable by throwing Nino on the bed and making out with him.  
  
Obviously, he’s here for a completely different reason today.  
  
With another sigh, he reaches out to run his fingers over one of the boxes, feeling rather conflicted. On one hand, he knows Ohno’s mother means well – she could be joking about the embarrassing stuff she knows her son and his boyfriend must be engaged with behind closed doors, and it’s clear that she only wants what’s best for them, what makes them happy – but on the other, he can’t help but wonder if calling him here to see these is a good idea.  
  
Somehow, he can’t help but wonder if this is fate coming in full circle, remembering Ohno’s confession about reading his journals while he was away, and smiling at the memory despite himself.  
  
God, this is so weird, he murmurs to himself as he opens the first box with uncertain fingers, heart thudding unevenly inside his chest. There are sketchbooks there, alright, just as Ohno’s mother had said.  
  
“Well, Ninomiya, let’s see what the love of your life has to say about you.” he mumbles aloud and pulls the first sketchbook out, and lays it carefully over his lap as he turns the page slowly.  
  
The first drawing he sees makes his heart tremble in a way that’s both painful and confusing, if only because he doesn’t know what to make of the image he’s staring at even though it’s clear what it is.  
  
It’s him, mid-laugh, young and skinny as he used to be, give and take a year after he joined the company.  
  
As if on cue, his gaze zeroes in on the note and date scrawled on the bottom of the page to describe the drawing specifically.  
  
  
 **The boy with the lovely smile  
27 March 1997  
Kyoto**  
  
  
 _Oh. My. God._  
  
+  
  
The next two hours went by so fast he hardly even noticed it. He’s barely done with the contents of the first box but he’s not rushing, taking his time as he checks each book carefully. Each drawing had to mean something, and even though most of them has no notable description written on the page saved from the date the drawing was done (or started, he’s not sure), it’s hard not to notice the pattern after seeing the contents of each sketchbook carefully.  
  
They are all drawings of Nino himself, in various settings and moods, dating from when he and Ohno first met in Kyoto until, presumably, after checking one of the books in the third box, about a couple of years ago, specifically before the breakup.  
  
He’s honestly awed, and thrilled, humbled and equal-parts fond that he doesn’t know how to deal with the conflicting emotions without Ohno to direct them to. It’s exhausting, the roller coaster of emotions he went through as he was checking the first few sketchbooks, wondering how dense he must be for not noticing it.  
  
It has been mutual all along, their feelings for each other, now that he has time to think about it better. It’s the kind of love that blooms overtime, maybe not a full-pledged one yet by the time the two of them met for the first time, but the attraction was definitely there from the start. Nino remembers that first time so clearly as if it only happened yesterday, the way he’d ogled Ohno then as if he was the most fascinating thing he’d ever laid eyes on and couldn’t look away from no matter how hard he'd tried.  
  
Seeing these sketches now makes him feel so stupid for doubting Ohno’s love and devotion to him, for breaking both their hearts when he could have simply trusted Ohno to make it all better. But he guesses things like that has to happen at some point, so he would know to cherish what he has later on.  
  
He flips on the page of the seventh sketchbook he’s been checking for a while now, hearing himself whimper as the image on the paper surprises him yet again.  
  
It’s just half of his face this time, his left profile, it seems like, his bangs covering his eye and his lips parted slightly in his sleep. When he looks further down to read the drawing’s description, his eyes water before he could even stop it.  
  
 **There’s beauty, and then there’s you.  
17 June 2006  
Tokyo**  
  
 _ **{Happy Birthday, Kazu  
Aishteru}**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday, Sharon! <3

There are only a handful of times he’s felt like this - the fear feels so foreign and yet so frighteningly familiar that he has to convince his manager to make arrangements for his supposed song recording later that afternoon to be rescheduled. He needs to get home, and fast, because he needs to know what Nino is up to, and why he hasn’t been able to contact the younger man since morning when he’s certain Nino is home.

Part of him knows he’s being stupid, because he knows Nino’s tendency to be absorbed with his games, or the music he’s composing if Nino feels like it. But even then, Nino will still make it a point to message him, to check on him just to make sure he’s had lunch or whether he’s coming home early so Nino could cook dinner for them before he arrives.

Today, however, Nino did neither.

And he’s admittedly scared out of his mind that it’s difficult to focus on work when he’s worried and equal-parts terrified over the fact that he had no idea what was going on with Nino.

He unlocks the door as quickly as he could manage it, his heart beating a mile a minute. He doesn’t bother putting his shoes to its proper place, nor bother putting on the house slippers Nino’s laid out for him there as he literally half-runs his way inside.

The first he sees is Nino, curled into a ball on the couch, obviously asleep. He’s clutching something in his chest but Ohno is too busy trying to remind himself to breathe to even pay attention to it, letting his bag drop where he stands before he saunters forward with purpose.

The sound of his bag hitting the floor obviously stirs Nino, but it is to his hands catching Nino’s face gently, and his lips kissing Nino that jerks Nino awake.

\--

“W-What - hmph! Wait, hey, what’s wrong with you?” Nino mutters, pushing him off, albeit weakly, because he can’t be bothered to explain himself as he settles on the couch to join Nino, before manfully lifting Nino into a sitting position and kissing him.

Something falls to the floor but he ignores that too, takes Nino’s momentary distraction to pull him closer until Nino is halfway on his lap. He’s still kissing Nino when he feels Nino’s fingers settle on his neck, the other on his cheek, allowing him a few precious seconds to take his fill before Nino pulls away to breathe.

“Kazu -” he starts, but Nino beats him to it. 

“I’m here, okay?” Nino says, sidling closer until they are nose to nose, their foreheads pressed together softly. He doesn’t realize he is shaking until Nino holds him through it, Nino humming lightly under his breath until he is calm enough to pull away so he could look at Nino properly.

“What happened?” Nino asks before he could, his eyes are shadowed with something Ohno is suddenly afraid of. He reaches out to touch Nino’s cheek, the corner of his mouth, the underside of his eyes and wills the words to come despite the difficulty. 

“You...weren’t answering any of my messages,” he says, voice trembling despite his efforts not to let it show. “Or my calls. I thought you left. I thought you changed your mind and -”

“Jesus, Oh-chan,” Nino cuts him off, quick and sudden, realizes he is being tugged into Nino’s arms before he could even let another word out. He should be ashamed of himself for letting his fears and his insecurities get to him, but that’s not something he would openly admit now. 

He shifts to bury his face into the crook of Nino’s neck and shudders, screws his eyes shut and murmurs Nino’s name, vaguely realizing that Nino is shaking too.

\--

“We’re not teenagers anymore, Satoshi,” Nino is saying, distractedly, because he is trying to relieve Nino off his shirt as he peppers kisses after kisses across the soft skin of Nino’s nape. Somehow, it’s not at all surprising that he’ll be demanding so much more after that emotional rollercoaster he went through since lunch. 

“You can’t just run off like that everytime I’m too busy to reply to you,” 

“I wasn’t going to, but it’s just...it’s hard. It’s hard for me to get over that fear that one day, you’ll tell me you don’t...love me anymore and you’re leaving again. I just...I’m scared, Kazu,”

A pause, and then he feels more than hears Nino’s sharp intake of breath as Nino pulls him closer.

“It won’t happen again, okay? Okay? Look at me, Oh-chan. Look here and be assured that I’m not going to that again, never again, okay? I trust you. I trust that you love me and I always will, you hear me?”

He hums in answer and gives Nino only a few precious seconds to decide whether he wants him to go further or jump off his lap to punish him, but instead, Nino smiles and leans forward to kiss the tip of his nose, before he is shifting away to tug his shirt all the way off. 

“Oh, does this mean we’re doing it now?” he asks, arms bracketing around Nino from behind. “Here?”

Nino chuckles, catching his face in between Nino’s hands and kissing him. “Yes. Now, shut up so I can kiss you.”

\--

He doesn’t claim to be good at expressing himself in so many words, but when he is with Nino and Nino is making him feel so damn good like this, he feels like maybe, maybe he should. He can’t though, not right now, not even when there are so many things he wants to say, so many things he wants to tell Nino as he cards his fingers through Nino’s soft hair, his hips surging from the couch to meet Nino’s mouth halfway. 

“Hmmm,” Nino moans around his mouthful and his reaction pretty much makes Nino giggle in turn. He’s so close that it’s difficult to focus on anything aside from the wonderful feel of Nino’s mouth closing around the head of his cock every goddamn time, the way his whole body trembles in response to the mind-blowing feel of Nino hollowing his cheek around his throbbing dick.

His eyes catch something familiar on the floor at the same time Nino tilts his head and allows his cock deeper, his hands finding Nino’s shoulders to hold on to as the incredible sensation punches through him like wildfire. He is keening before he realizes it, legs parting without his volition and his hips jerking before he could stop it. Nino simply allows it, parts his mouth wide enough to accommodate his aching cock, hums low and steady, and he is gone with a shout before he even realizes what is happening. 

\--

It’s payback time.

He only watches the way Nino’s throat works as he swallows, before he is grabbing Nino by his shoulders and hauling him up, kissing him hard and swift before he is letting him go only so he could push Nino’s threadbare pants down his slim hips. The sight of Nino’s hard cock is enticing as it is mouth-watering, and he finds himself reaching out to work his hand around the hard length as if on cue.

“Ah, shit,” Nino mutters, and he briefly throws Nino a look before he is tugging Nino close by his hips. He licks his lips in anticipation, and feels more than hears Nino groaning in answer when he wraps his hand around the base while he works his other arm around Nino’s waist from behind.

“I’ll have you begging for more later, but for now…” he says, cutting himself midway in favor of guiding Nino’s cock into his mouth and sucking hard.

\--

“Please! Oh, _please_!” Nino half-screams, fingers tugging his hair hard enough to make him wince, but still, he doesn’t stop. Nino is close, he could feel it in the way his cock pulses every time he would lick at the swollen head, every time he would suck on it hard as he pumps the base. By now, he’s hard too, his cock obviously finding Nino half-screaming his pleasure a major turn on. 

He pulls away just far enough to talk, but keeps his hand where it is. “Yes, like that,” he whispers, squeezing Nino’s dick and then pumping him. “Let me hear you. Tell me how _good_ it is. Tell me, Nino,” he says, before putting Nino back in his mouth and sucking him.

It doesn’t even take long for Nino to give in, jerking hard and coming at the end, shooting his pleasure in Ohno’s mouth and letting him take all of it, the same way Nino did earlier.

/tbc


End file.
